Charles Chilaka's Blog

Father

When I was growing up in Somolu, Lagos, I was a challenge to my parents. Beside my poor performance at school, I refused to conform to my family's values. I loved to play with either my community boys or my school mates, when I am at school. We played street soccer very regularly. My street boys with me played soccer at Weekends and almost every day of the week, during the holidays. At school, we played at the end of classes, before we went to our various homes. My school, St. Patrick's Primary School, Herbert Macaulay, Yaba was eight kilometers from my home, if I went home straight.

The days we did not play soccer, at school, I went with some of my school mates to swim at Ogbe, a stream very close to the University of Lagos, six kilometers away from my school. This alway resulted in my getting home late.

It was at this stream that I learnt to swim. I enjoyed the fun not minding the disciplinary measures that my parents subjected me to as I would not stop playing with my mates. Beside, my performance at school remained very, very poor.

My immediate senior brother, who gave my parents little or no problems hardly went with us to the stream. He tried to dissuade me from going to the stream but since I would not listen to him. He went home alone after school each day, Since our father was always at work all week days, it was my mom that felt most the impact of my truancies. Beside her being a disciplinarian, she regarded my case as one that required serious disciplinary measures.

Perhaps she would have been consoled if my performance at school was average. My position after every examination was what every mom would not like. Although I was constantly first in just only one subject, I failed other subjects. And beside, I was never bordered nor desired to change. My mom deed all she could to discipline me and force me change to no avail. She moved my case to my father.

My father, to me, was the supreme court. The difference with this court was that I was always the only defendant. The judge also never gave up sentencing me accordingly. At a stage I did not border to tender any plea since I would be adjudged guilty. I never won any case in his court. Unfortunately, all my cases were referred to him as our lower court, my mom, handled my other sibling's offences.

My relationship with my father was at the lowest level when I completed my secondary education. But unfortunately for me, that year, all of us in Imo state, where my secondary school was located, that sat for the West African Examination Council's examination had their result seized. My Dad's verdict was that I caused the seizure of the results.

As years passed, I did not notice the point my relationship with my Dad changed.

I retook the examination as an external candidate, please God, I passed all my subjects. Then I got a job with a multinational company at Apapa, Lagos. Within two years, I gained admission into the University. At my graduation ceremony four years later, my Dad made over 300 kilometers journey to be present at my convocation.

When he retired from service and relocated to our country home. He would always celebrate my visit. During his chieftaincy installation I drove for fourteen hours, from Lagos to Eziudo, to be there for him and my mom. We really became very good friends. My mom even nicknamed me 'his advocate.'

My children are now adults. They now have their own families. I have realised that my parents wanted the best for me, just as I want for my children. When my children were growing up, I would sacrifice everything to ensure that they enjoyed adequate emotional, spiritual and material provisions.

With time, I became conscious that my parents, like any other parent, love their children as I do and would do everything at their disposal and within their resources to give them every good thing in life.

That if my parent had allowed my rebellion to continue unchecked, I might have grown up to become what they would not want.

It is also true that circumstances had made some parents not to provide for their children's upbringing. I will not attempt to go into those circumstances here. However, I will observe that today, desperate efforts are expended in attempt to redefine marriage, family even life. Also, a very large percentage of children grew up outside the traditional family setup.

I am not a social scientist. The stories I read in the dailies of the experiences of children whose father walked out of their live or those from broken homes is atrocious. The published statistics of the steady annual rise of the rate couples divorce and the ever rising rate of child custody cases is astonishing. I wonder how the children that went through these horror will appreciate the imagery of 'the Good Shepherd' or a 'Loving Father'. St. Pope John Paul II termed what the present civilization promotes as 'culture of death.'

However, from my experience, I know that many Christians are not conscious of the image of the Eternal Father. Although some of them were baptised in the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. Catholics start every prayer in the Name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. Does it occur to all of them that by signing themselves, they invoke the Holy Trinity?

Throughout our Lord Jesus Christ's ministry he spoke so much of His Father. He gave Him the first place. He told us He came to do the will of His father. Told us that 'Him with His Father is One'. He handed us over to His Father before His departure from this world. (John 16.11). He prayed to Him to keep us safe (John 17.5-23).

Finally before returning to His Father, our Lord Jesus revealed to us the bottomless love of the Eternal Father and the treasure of His compassion for us. He gave us the image Himself as the Good Shepherd and His Father the the Vine Dresser. That His Father will grant us everything we ask Him in His Name (John 14.11-14).

I saw these more clearly when I reflect on how much I love my children. Also, when I observe the love my sons have for their own children. These enabled me become conscious of our Lord Jesus Christ's love for us and how much the Eternal Father loves us too. I then became aware of the greatness of His love when compared to mine for my children and grandchildren. For Him to have sent His Divine Son to die on the cross to reconcile sinful man with Himself. Thus, restored man to a dignity that is greater than man had at creation. Finally, ensured that man returns safely to Him by giving us, God the Holy Ghost.

I wonder the great impact our lives and prayers will make, in the world, if we are truly conscious of the Eternal Father's unfathomable mercy, His infinite love and the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ with us with the abundant graces the Holy Spirit that is in us gives. If only we relate to them very closely.

I begin to reflect on how much peace we would have. How fiercely we would fight to halt the spread of this ravaging 'culture of death.' As my father did not abandon me, I am deeply confident that our Eternal Father's will will reign at last to the praise and glory of His Holy Name.

Change

I shot the above scenery from my window at different seasons of the year. The one on the left was during the winter and the other in summer. It is great to imagine that the same landscape could look so different. Nature changes. At times, you could have checked the weather forecast before leaving home. It may have indicated that the day would be sunny hence you dressed lightly. To be sure that you are doing the right thing, you looked out through the window to access how other people dressed. You concluded that the weather would certainly be warm. Three hours later you became cold due to the sudden changes in the weather and you also realised that almost everyone else had their warmer on with the exception of yourself. It is not only the weather that changes. Man changes too. Actually, there are very many things that change. But let us talk about man.

A man is capable of doing things that contradict each other. Otherwise how can we explain these contradictions: A cleaner in a director's office paying more income tax than his boss. A Nigerian senator's salary being higher than that of the president of United States of America. While most Nigerians live on less than one dollar a day. A pastor dating a woman and her daughter. Or why a father turns another person's child to be a suicide bomber while he protects his own children at home. A pastor that sexually abuses the children that assist at the parish and still faces the congregation daily as their shepherd. Men slaughtering fellow human beings like lambs. And feeling happy to share the video on the social media, as shown in the IS video. Or a woman killing a baby in her womb in the name of her right to choose. She forgets that had her mother claimed such right, she herself would not have been born. Imagine a man killing his wife for whatever reason or a daughter slaughtering her grand mother.

Does it stop there. No. Otherwise how do you explain the contradiction in two persons that confessed to loving each other only for them, within six months, to hate each other so passionately that they seek divorce.

At times I wonder the percentage of persons that were among the crowd that shouted hosanna! hosanna! hosanna! to the Son of David! and later turned to shout crucify Him! crucify Him! crucify Him! some hours later. No wonder those of us that claim to have relationship with God, pray to Him to forgive us our sins but we give reasons for not forgiving others their sins against us. The irony is that the persons that made this earth become hell to very many people still look forward to going to heaven when they die.

We all love gifts but hardly do we give gifts to others. Yea. It is said, 'Change is constant'. Man also is constant in changing. I love Don Williams' song 'I believe in love'.

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